In preparing for our 100th issue spectacular, staff writer Owen Salisbury assembled a list of Word-related trivia that will leave you puzzled as to how he ever managed to function in polite society
— Word was founded in April, 1988? It was originally chief editor Nick Ross’ neo-modernist Basque poetry fanzine!
— Word routinely hides at least one joke image and one fake story per issue? There’s even a VND150,000 prize to the first astute reader who finds all 228 examples. Bonus to the reader who finds the issue we never actually printed!
— Word editorial budgets have gone up by at least 8% a year for the last eight years? We salute their professionalism and rigour!
— Word is on the VIP guest list at Apocalypse Now? Because, why not?
— The most common cause of wounding and maiming for Word employees is duelling? … but that the most common cause of death for Word employees is classified
— Word used to employ a number of writers who went on to fame and fortune? We count such literary lights as Marcel Proust, Choderlos de Laclos, Salman Rushdie and that tool who wrote The Notebook among our alumni!
— In his 14-year career with the Word, staff editor Jon Aspin has never been late with a story? Talk about dedication!
— Word graphic designers actually create all pictures pixel by pixel in PhotoShop? We haven’t printed a genuine photograph since 2006!
— Word has never knowingly employed a member of the Illuminati?
— Word was founded in April of 1871 by French explorer Pierre-Christian Bois-Blois de Montchien, renowned for bringing both polo and polio to the highlands of Laos? It was originally a journal for recording the hallucinations caused by his tertiary syphilis.
— Word loves monkeys? Our office monkey Milo routinely contributes articles under a nom de plume!
— Word was founded by time travellers in both space and the future?
— While compiling this list, Word staff writer Owen Salisbury almost died of anaphylactic shock, yet almost finished the article nearly on time? Talk about dedication!
— Word was a popular write-in candidate in the recent Presidential elections in the Gambia? We garnered an amazing 781 votes, or 3.3% of the total!
— Word can steal your soul? Whatever you do, don’t hold it up to a mirror and chant “Blood Mary” three times while turning widdershins. We had enough trouble with the zombies last time!
— Word invented Scrabble and jamon Iberico — on the same day?
— Creative director, photographer and head pontiff Mads Monsen won the Art Prize twice in the last four years for his work on the Word — without officially entering? Talk about dedication!
— Word can be used to tell the future? Using a combination of Qabalah and von Hausaufgabe’s Geometric Sieve, future events are clearly spelled out in our pages. Last year, we found detailed predictions for 9/11, 7/7, and of course for 6/6! Actually, we’re fairly scared about that last one. We plan to be out of the continent when it happens! You should, too! Run, people! Run!
— Word was founded as part of a sealed plea agreement in April of 1999? We’d love to tell you more but the judge would throw us back in prison and we can’t go back there, man! We just can’t!
— Word has contingency stories written to cover plague, alien invasion, and the Canadian conquest of the USA?
— That one of these is the whole and unvarnished truth? We dare you to find it! Not counting this one, of course, because that would be a dishonest and petty trick.
This article is dedicated to the memory of official Word historian and photo editor Kyle “Krushpuss” Phanroy who left the country earlier this year after a yodelling accident in the Tyrolean Alps. You’ll be missed, you old so-and-so
To read more of this cover story, please click on the following links:
In the Beginning There Wasn't the Word
A Short History of Word
What You Say
Inbox: Your Letters, Comments and Emails from Over the Years
Our Top Articles
Seven Creative Uses for Word