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A Bender with Beckham

Did you guys hear that David Beckham was in town a few weeks ago? When I found out, I was so excited. The guy used to play soccer for the Los Angeles Galaxy — you don’t see many celebrities like that in Saigon!


He was having a party at Chill Sky Bar to promote his new booze. I love booze! And I love parties, but I didn’t think I’d be able to attend this one. You needed a special ticket to get in, and you could only get a special ticket if you were important.

 

Now, I’m neither of those things, but my buddy Ed is. He’s an editor for a super-important magazine (this one!). Ed is so important, in fact, that he managed to get two tickets. One of which he gave to me!

 

Party Time

 

When we arrived at the bar, there were a lot of people waiting outside. They didn’t have tickets, so they couldn’t come in. The security guards were scowling at them. But when Ed and I showed up with our special tickets, the guards let us right in. VIPs, coming through!

 

We took an elevator up to the rooftop, because all the best parties are on rooftops. You could see the whole city from up there! We even spotted a homeless family begging for change at a street corner, but that was depressing so we decided to get some booze instead.

 

Did I mention that the booze was free? For Ed and me, anyway. We had these invisible stamps on our hands so we didn’t have to pay for anything. Everybody was really nice to us when they saw our stamps!

 

Other people had to pay for their drinks because they didn’t have invisible stamps. But Ed and I got a whole bottle of the Beckham-endorsed booze for nothing, plus all the ice we wanted! Only big shots with stamps got free ice.

 

David Beckham showed up around 11pm. He’s a really handsome guy. You can see why Posh Spice married him. He’s built like an upside-down triangle with perfect hair.

 

Everybody was really excited to see him. Suddenly the room was filled with camera flashes and screaming ladies. I got so dizzy I almost fell over. It was just like having a seizure, except fun! A mohawked Vietnamese mobster splattered scotch all over my suit.

 

“Excuse me sir, I think you spilled your drink,” I said.

 

“Shut the f-ck up,” he replied.

 

Hahaha! Celebrity parties get so crazy sometimes!

 

Getting Excited Around the Stars

 

I tried to say hello to Beckham, but one of his bodyguards got in my way. He looked like an ex-paratrooper, or maybe an MMA fighter. 
“It’s okay, buddy, I’ve got a stamp!”

 

The bodyguard didn’t move. The music was pretty loud so he probably couldn’t hear me. He did let some other people go by, though. Maybe they had better stamps.

 

Then a Vietnamese pop starlet in white booty shorts did a dance performance. There were fireworks and lasers everywhere. She was super pretty! I wanted to say hello to her, too, but the security bros wouldn’t let me onto the balcony.

 

“Who do I look like, one of those stampless bums outside?” I asked, but nobody was listening.

 

At midnight, Beckham left the party. We all lined up to say goodbye. Everybody was feeling good — one of his bodyguards even high-fived me on the way out! I was trying to take a picture at the time, which kind of stinks, but I understood where he was coming from.

 

You can’t help but get excited around the stars!

 

Last modified onWednesday, 18 March 2015 21:20
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